Do not let this cute picture fool you. This post is not nearly as contented and composed as this woman looks. Beware!I know that I am not alone in my dislike to prepare dinner. Let me clarify a bit. I do enjoy to cook. I believe it to be a very good outlet of creativity. The part I HATE about preparing dinner is the deciding what to make. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not the best decision maker in the world. I would much rather someone else just make my decisions for me or just help me along a little.
My least favorite thing to hear come out of my husbands mouth is . . . "what do you want for dinner?" I don't know! I just don't know. I think that if I had the chance of cooking the same thing everyday just so that I would never be asked that question, I would do it. Oh POOR, POOR BRYCE. I honestly feel so sorry for him. I mean what kind of a wife am I. And, to make matters worse, he has some good friends who's spouses are nearly gourmet cooks. I can't compete with that.
The other part of dinner preparation that I dislike is gathering the ingredients. I don't know a single recipe I have looked at in a cookbook that calls for something that I
don't have. I OFTEN, try to substitute something for the missing ingredient and it OFTEN does not go well. My Mother is a master of substituting missing ingredients with things that she has in the house. I am not a good enough cook to do this, and when I try to emulate my Mother it goes sooooo poorly. I can remember meals that my Mom made out of everything that was leftover in the fridge/freezer and they were good! Yes, they were good. She can make a delectable treat out of what the rest of us would throw out. Where oh, where do I pick up that talent. I must have missed that sprinkle when talents were being tossed onto us from heaven.
I could go on forever with my dislike of preparing dinner, but I have an experience I must share that tells the story so perfectly.
One of my good friends, Michelle, is a VERY good cook. Bryce and I have been on the receiving end of her meals several times and they are always wonderful and perfect. I always feel that I should reciprocate the invitation to dine, but I am too embarassed about my poor cooking. I won't even have the missionaries over because I don't know what I would cook them. One recent occasion pushed my over the edge and then nudged me down into a hole. This experience convinced me that I am not supposed to cook . . . ever.
As I mentioned before, Michelle invited us over for a dinner of deliciousness. It was an all homemade version of one of Cafe Rio's famous salads. Neither Bryce, nor I, have ever been to Cafe Rio. We have only heard how wonderful it is. If Cafe Rio is anything like what Michelle prepared for us, I would be sold. It was unmeasurabley yummy. Oh my goodness. I can't even describe the goodness of it all.
I left over full and determined to be a better cook for my spouse. He deserves yummy meals like that, and I have never made something that yummy. The ironic thing about the whole situation is that I had planned to make a similar meal that same day before I we were invited to dinner. So, the next day I prepared to make my meal so that I could see how it measured up.
I was home most of the day and was able to focus a lot of my attention on this dinner. Bryce had specifically said that he wanted lime chicken tacos. Easy right! I even made my own fresh salsa with a little splash of lime. I placed my chicken in the slow cooker with spices, onions, and a lime. What a delicious smell emitted from the crock pot! I was sure that this meal was going to be one Bryce would talk about for many days to come. As I prepared the table for our dinner, I of course, tested a little of the chicken and rice that I had cooked earlier. My eyes pinched, my eyebrows furrowed, and my lips pursed. WOAH! BITTER . . . SOUR . . . LIMES! The chicken and the rice had such a taste of bitterness to them I could hardly keep it in my mouth. Even the salsa was so full of lime taste it was unbearable. I tried to remedy the sour taste of my ingredients, but to my dismay, the lime was the strong one of the bunch.
Bryce insisted that we try some and see how it tasted when it got into a tortilla with sourcream, cheese and lettuce. So we filled up our tortillas with lime chicken, rice, and salsa. I added extra sour cream and cheese to try and drown out the bitter taste. I could barely swallow it down. It was awful. The meal ended in lots of food in the garbage and me in tears. (Because we all remember than crying solves everything right)
I didn't know how potent limes got when the simmered for so long. I also left the lime in the peel, and the peel was the culprit of the bitterness. I felt so low. I felt silly, stupid, sad, and sorry for Bryce that I ruined the meal he requested. To make matters worse, this incident happened days after I had lost my job. I was in the process of trying to find new employment, and was having apsolutely no success. That same day I learned that one of the jobs I applied for online was a scammer trying to get information from me so. They got all my info then called me claiming that my credit card had been infultrated by someone. Then the tried to get all my credit card information from me with my S.S. # and Drivers Liscence #. The only postion that wanted me was a scam. Then I prepared a meal that was a disgrace. I was feeling unwanted, used, and really useless. In short, poor poor Natali.
So, I felt sorry for myself for several days and refused to cook anything than what I knew by heart. The next day we had baked Mac & Cheese. One of the easiest meals to prepare in the world. Then it was spaghetti. Also, one of the easiest meals to prepare. Then I adventured out with a dessert dish for Mutual. I tried the "Mom" method of making a recipe work with ingredients that you have around. It didn't work. About two bites got eaten before I threw that in the garbage as well. So, there I was, a garbage full of food and a heart full of pitty. And that pitty was only for myself.
I'd love to end this post by telling you all that I learned from my mistakes. That I stopped thinking about myself and focused my energies on something else. That I did something charitable for someone so I could forget my self indulgence of pitty. But, I can't. I have gotten over the initial sadness and I am cooking meals again. I am trying to feel less sorry for myself. I am feeling that I have use and validity in life. However . . . I still HATE to cook dinner. And I still believe that nothing can cure a bad day better than a good cry.
I recently fixed my sewing machine. It never has worked wonderful since I got it and then it shut down. Well, being cheap, I decided I would try and see what the problem is. So I took the dang thing apart and cleaned it and blew on it and gave it a kiss. Then I put it back together . . . and it works FABULOUS. Better than it even has and I am pretty proud. 
Apron #1 - I tried to find as "vintage" as fabric as I could and I did okay. This black and red one is more modern, but very cute. There are two big pockets on this, but they are hard to see unless you get close. I did try it on and it is adorable. You all do not want to see what I looked like yesterday though, so I spared you and had the kitchen chairs model for me instead.
Apron #2: This one looks a bit more "vintage" I think. It is just a little half apron and that is just so cute to me. I don't see a lot of these around anymore. The ruffle was a pain the the but, but worth it because it is so darn cute. There is a pocket on this one as well but it is again hard to see.
Oh, I love to sew! This is something that my Mother taught me to sew as a really little girl. I learned to sew by her side on her wonderful Bernina machine. I also learned to quilt, which I love as well. I forgot how wonderful it makes me feel to sew something. Thank you Mom for teaching me such a wonderful skill. I know that she enjoyed teaching me because she tried to teach my other sisters and I think I am the only one who took to it. (Oh, except Bubber) It will be something that I teach my children someday. It has come in handy more than once with heming and fixing misc. items for Bryce too. THANKS MOTHER! I LOVE YOU.
