Insomnia Strikes Again - Give My Regards To Broadway . . .

Amber Jardee and ME singing The Star Spangled Banner before a basketball game. I was probably 17 in this picture. This is the only picture I have of me singing. Strange, because I did it A LOT back then.

I think that I have written before about the reason I have trouble sleeping at times. I'm going to go over it again, for my own sake. I think a lot. I'm not talking about intelligent, philosophical thoughts. No, I just think about everything. What I have done, what I haven't done, what I want to do, what I need to do, who I need to call, what I need to write, what needs cleaned, and the list goes on and on and on and on.

I go to bed tired, but my brain is wide awake. It just won't empty. All those thoughts and obligations cram themselves into my consciousness and hang on for dear life. Those pesky thoughts jam every corner and crevice they can find until there is no where for them to go. I swear my head must have to enlarge to accommodate such greedy guests. Then comes the headache and the pounding. The vicious thoughts all have hammers and are now hammering on my skull, trying to break free somehow. I take medicine to subside their anxiousness, but it only works for so long. All that thinking has to go somewhere and it isn't going to be pretty when it spills out. So, Sorry you had to witness this, but there is clean up needed in aisle five because someone popped the cork.

Here is something that I have been pondering often lately. By pondering, I mean obsessing over.
I was heavily involved in my high school music department. My choir teacher, Cindy Quade, was also the guidance counselor. To be simple, she was awesome. She brought so much variety and talent to that tiny school. My high school only had about 60-70 students. Total. That means 9th -12th grade . . . 60 students. How much can you do with so few students? Mrs. Quade found a way to do everything and it was all done really well. I LOVED doing show choir, dinner theatre productions, music festivals, choir concerts, singing the National Anthem at games, the works. My 12th grade year, I worked as her teachers aide. I came to her with so many ideas, and most of them she consented to doing. She gave me free reigns to do as much as I wanted. I helped put together our Broadway review that year, I planned what the theme was to be for our show choir productions, I even choreographed most of the numbers. I enjoyed every second. BUT, my crowning glory was when I got to sing with the Jazz Band.

I had, and currently have, a gigantic fascination with Frank Sinatra. He won me over with his enchanting melodies, his hypnotic ballads, and that voice of gold. I just mentioned to Mrs. Quade that one of my dreams was to sing THAT type of music with a real band behind me, just like Frank. She arranged it. She had the Jazz Band learn "Someone To Watch Over Me" with me doing the vocals (the band hated this song. they all told me it was, by far, their least favorite song and the wished the didn't have to do it. Just a side note) It was glorious. I will never forget how glamorous I felt. I don't think I appreciated it as much then as I do now. I'm pretty sure she has no idea how much that meant to me. That year for Christmas she gave me a Frank Christmas album. It is still one of my favorites. Don't you agree that she was awesome to say the least.

I've always loved performing, and the Carter County High School Music Department was a very available venue. I am proud to say that I think I took full advantage of that while I could. No regrets here. Well, not true, I do have one tiny regret. I had one more dream, to be in a Musical - Broadway style. Unfortunately, I was the only one. None of my fellow students wanted to devote the time or effort necessary to put on a musical. And, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't play Eliza Doolittle without a Henry Higgins.

But, High School is NEVER the end of any dreams. Luckily, dreams can live on past our glorious adolescent years. I know there are some out there that still think high school was the best time of their lives, and that life just gets boring and draining after you toss that weird square cap into the air. What's with the weird cap and gown thing anyway. Those hats don't look good on anyone, and they are strange. I guess I might have to research that before I go on bashing the age long tradition huh. Moving on. College! (I'm sure this jaunt through my past is enjoyable to no one but my mother, so you don't have to read on if you don't want to. Remember, this is just to spill my overflowing brain)

I did continue performing in college. I was in a Women's Choir that was sort of fun. I was in a VERY FUN, vocal ensemble called From The Heart. Yes, we were as cheesy as the name, but still very enjoyable. I was in a few school talent shows. I sang and played my guitar to anyone who would listen. I learned how to country dance. But, still no Broadway musical. No Eliza Doolittle.

Then I got married to the most perfect man on the planet. I forgot to mention that my #1 dream of my life, even before the dream of Eliza, was to be a wife and a mother. I was overjoyed to finally start fulfilling this dream. I love being a wife. I can't say that I miss being single even a snitch. I don't miss high school, I don't miss college, I don't miss adolescence. None of my past joys can compare to the bliss I feel when I lay in bed and night and listen to my husband breathing next to me and feel his arm around my waist. He is the best thing that has happened in my life. What else can I say.

But alas, as of late, my old Broadway dream is taking over. Eliza Doolittle is singing "wouldn't it be loverly" over and over in my head until I want to scream. I listen to show tunes ALL DAY LONG on my computer. When I have spare time I watch Broadway clips on you tube. I can't get "Forget About The Boy" from Thoroughly Modern Millie out of my head and I sing it constantly, even though I only know half of the words. I keep thinking . . . will I ever be able to do Broadway? I have no desire to perform as a career, but I have a great desire to participate in a Musical. I don't mind if it is a no budget church production or a community event. I would prefer that actually. I just want to do it SOOOOOOOO bad. I know New York is never going to knock on my door, asking for my name to be on a playbill. I almost think of nothing else. This is one of the reasons why I can't sleep tonight. *Big Sigh*

I won't go into detail about the others right now. It feels good just to get this little bit out into the void so I might have a chance to sleep tonight. Don't be surprised if another insomnia column shows up on the blog tomorrow.

Thanks and Goodnight.

Happy 5th Birthday Taylee!

My niece Taylee wanted a Halloween party this year for her birthday. I think that her cousin had a Halloween party last year and she wanted one as well. I went up to Bellevue for a few days to help Emily with all the preparations. My favorite thing was decorating this bat cake. Sharon (Grandma Nanna - Jakes Mom) used to do decorate cakes for Albertsons and she is a pro. She has all the fun decorating stuff and she taught me how to do it all. It really was soooooooooooo much fun. I really want to be a cake decorator now. We thought it turned out great, but Sharon is such a professional she knew there were a lot of flaws. Taylee loved it and that is all that mattered anyway.

I wrote the words on the cake as well. I wasn't trying to write straight, if any of you were wondering why the letters are all over the place. I learned that when doing type on anything, if you try to write straight it usually goes crooked. But, you write crooked and it ends up looking prety symmetrical. I don't know.

This was my other contribution to the party. Taylee got a Barbie Musketeer for her birthday from Grandma Honey. She calls her Barbie Mouseketeer. The Barbie has a mask that turns into a tiara on her head. And Taylee go her own "Mouseketeer" mask as well. So, Emily and I decided to play pin the mask on the Barbie Musketeer. I drew this picture of the Barbie and made a bunch of masks to pin on her face. It was fun.

The next day, Bryce came up to pick me up. While Emily was putting Tristan down for a nap, we went out and picked blackberries. We came in and made blackberry ice-cream parfaits. YUMMM! Plus, they are so cute too.

On another note: All these recent pictures are from our NEW CAMERA! For our anniversary we usually go out and splurge on a really nice dinner. It ends up being a little pricey. So, this year we decided to use that money to buy a new camera. We really needed one. So, we had dinner at Burger King and bought a new camera with the rest of the dinner fund. It was a good decision. Here is Bryce trying out the new camera. Turns out, he looks super good in this pic. I never look good in self portraits like this.

Workin' on a Full House . . . We did it too!

Only three months in Washington, and we have visitors. Holy Moly, it took our family years to come out and visit us in Iowa. I guess Washington has a little more to offer. Then again, that is just in the eyes of the beholder in my opinion. ANYHOO, here they came. Bryce's Brother Dallin, his wife Haley and their precious little boy Hunter came to visit us in Tacoma this weekend. It was a very impromptu trip for them, but we are more than happy that they came to visit. It was TONS of fun and I loved getting to know my little nephew. He is just a gem and I'm afraid we have another red-headed Jolley boy on the way. Look out America, this is gonna be good.

Here is a little low-down of how our weekend went: ENJOY!

Hunter and Haley taking a little rest after the twelve hour drive into Tacoma. I promise Hunter is in that car seat. I never got a picture of him out of it. I am a poor photographer. SORRY

Bryce and Dallin checking out the Puget Sound and the ferry that was arriving. This is at Point Defiance Park.

The Rose Garden at Point Defiance also has a gorgeous display of rhododendrons that I couldn't get enough of. They actually aren't that pungent, but I couldn't resist a good snifferoo.

Bryce taking a picture of Dallin Taking a picture. Very wonderful

Aren't they glorious. My nearness just made them bloom, can't you tell.

Haley and Hunter (again in the car seat) walking through the Rose Garden. Lovely.

I like the yellow roses because in the house I grew up in we had a bush of wild yellow roses. The rose bush grew next to this giant rock. I liked to hang out there and pretend lots of things. Ah, memories.

Dallin and Haley in love and in color. They are a wonderful couple and we love them so very dearly. Cute picture huh.

We needed a chance on this bench of love as well. Natali and Bryce being copycats.

A cute old house. Also at Point Defiance.

I have a thing with climbing trees. I just like to do it and that is all. Haley kept saying that this place reminded her of Twilight. So, here I am being Edward in the tree. I should have someone flung across my back as I discover the treetops shouldn't I. Next time I'll tell Bryce to join me. I'm pretty sure I could carry him.

Dallin and Haley at low tide at Ruston Way Waterfront. I told them the turn over the rocks and check out all the little crabs. They wouldn't pick any up though. I won't ever let them forget this act of non-bravery.

SMILE! Except I think Dallin might be getting ready to pounce as well. I'd be scared if I were Haley.

SEATTLE! Nat and Bryce at the waterfront in Seattle. The flowers are from Pike Place Market. They were the most beautiful blossoms ever. Now girls, don't get it into your head that Bryce bought these for me. We bought them to give to his Aunt LaRee and Uncle Roger who had us over for a BBQ that night. I did enjoy the flowers while I had them though. I felt like Miss America.

Just a fish I caught. No big thing, I bring in a catch this big every time I go fishing. Oh, and the guy in the yellow suit. . . he is my friend Beardy. No one else calls him that, just me.

Tolmie Park beach. Bryce is wading through the much looking for sand dollars. They were everywhere and they are pretty neat little creatures.

Dallin checkin out the sea-life. Pretty fun and pretty stinky at low tide.

I found myself some wonderful treasures. This little crab was just lookin at me as I checked for sand dollars. He only has one claw so I call him Lefty. He might be the best crab friend I've ever had from the sea.

This giant Sea Lion was my third favorite thing about Cabelas. The first was the shooting game, second the fish tank, and third this Giant Sea Lion. His name is Giant Boy. He is probably the best friend I have ever had from Cabelas.

Bryce and Dallin doing my favorite thing about Cabelas. The shooting game. You shoot the targets and all sorts of joyous things happen. Bears jump up from behind fences, shovels fall over, doors shut, what a trip.

4 Years and Going Strong

4 YEARS! Happy Anniversary Bryce! This is my gift to you. (To all the bloggers our there who are going to read this: There are a few inside jokes that might make you scratch your head. Just go with it.)

Top 20 Reasons:
Why you and I are perfect together

#20: You are 28, and I am 25. Together that equals 53. 5 plus 3 is 8. 8 divided by 2 is 4. WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED 4 years! Wow, that is fate at work, and also math at work.

#19: High school is such a serious thing. These problems matter. It’s very fortunate that we both agree on this point.

#18: It’s not the size of the Dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the Dog. We don’t have a dog yet. But when we do he will be a good fighter because we will teach him this saying.

#17: I’m way happier when I wake up from a nap these days. That’s because of you! Good job.

#16: My eyes are green and brown. Your eyes are blue. . . . Nice!

#15: You sing really soft, or not at all, during church. I sing really loud. Together we produce perfect hymn singing volume. We wouldn’t want to blow people away with too much volume.

#14: My family is a little dysfunctional and so is yours. We wouldn’t want to have two normal families.

#13: You have great oral hygiene, and you make me brush my teeth. I like to tap your beautiful teeth with my fingernail. I wouldn’t want to tap your teeth if they weren’t so clean.

#12: You made me dislike the cold, and I made you indecisive. So, that’s pretty awesome.

#11: You say funny things that I like to laugh at. You pretend to laugh at my funny things. Thanks for pretending.

#10: We are a very good-looking couple. So, good looking they should give us a celebrity couple name like - Brycatali. Watch out Brangelina.

#9: We both like delicious burgers with delicious fries. YUMMMMMMM

#8: You have red hair and mine is black. That is cool, how many couples do you know like that. None!

#7: You are logical and level headed. You know I’m not. That makes it exciting huh!

#6: You’re going to be a Dr. and I think that is pretty amazing.

#5: I fit quite nicely on your lap and I really like to sit there.

#4: I like to read fantasy and you like to read boring non-fiction. It’s great because we never fight over the same book.

#3: You wear old man shoes and I wear little boy shoes. So, we can shop at the same stores.

#2: You have lots of really great T-shirts that I LOVE to wear to bed. Thanks a lot for that one.

#1: We are sealed together FOREVER (and both our families would really frown on getting a divorce) so we are STUCK with each other. I can’t think of a better person to be stuck with!

Charlotte Cindy Blueberry Part II - With a Pond and A Cat

mmThere was a pond behind CeeCee’s house. Not directly behind the house I suppose. It was across the cow pasture, down the hill, and through a small grove of willows. Many of her younger childhood summer days were spent there. She would wade up to her chest in filthy water hoping to catch tadpoles, snails, minnows, or frogs in an old Mason jar she had stolen from her Mother’s cupboard. She often came out of the water with little friends attached on her legs and smelling like sewage. She didn’t even seem to notice the grossness of the situation, even as she was prying leaches off her calves and thighs. As she grew older, her trips to the pond had grown less frequent. It didn’t seem like something a twelve year old going on thirteen should do.
This particular Saturday had been an uneventful day at her house and she was really itching for an adventure. That’s when her hair decided it was time to take over. She felt a little twinge on her scalp. She reached up to scratch her head when an idea came into her nearly teenage brain.
“The pond!” she said excitedly.
A wild hair had, at that very moment, grown anew out of her scalp. That wild hair put the “hairbrained” thought into her head to visit an old childhood love. It had been so very long since she had been to the, not so directly behind her house, pond. Or “Far Pond,” as it had been named by CeeCee. So, with that wild hair growing faster by the minute, CeeCee decided to put on her treasured and worn hiking boots to make the trek to the Far Pond.
She couldn’t keep a generous grin off her face as she pranced through the pasture. The sun shone off her ponytail and it seemed to glow just as bright as CeeCee’s face.
“Hello Cows!” CeeCee said while passing the solemn looking cattle that were chewing on pasture grasses and munching their cud. They looked at her with little interest and then promptly put their faces back to the ground to nip more brown grass to fill their giant bellies.
She found herself skipping and singing an Oklahoma Musical tune while heading down the hill and through the willows.
“Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day. I’ve got a beautiful feeling, everythin’s goin’ my way,” she belted at the top of her lungs.
As CeeCee passed through the willows and spied the pond ahead of her she found herself slowing. Her new wild hair wanted to relish this reunion. How lovely Far Pond looked with its green slimy moss covering almost the whole of the water. The weeds were quite overgrown, and CeeCee could smell the rotting of untended foliage and dirty pond creatures. Ah, what a marvelous stench.
She let her eyes scan the scene and they stopped quite abruptly on something that was sitting at the far end of the pond. Squinting and craning her head, she moved closer to the thing. It looked like some kind of animal.
“Where did that cat come from?” CeeCee wondered aloud when she realized what the something was.
She rarely saw anything other than a few bullfrogs and a myriad of bugs and gross, slimy, swimming things in the pond. The cat was nearly hidden behind the overgrown cattails that surrounded the murky brownish green water. The cat was out of place, and standing very unusually close to the edge of the water. It seemed to be peering at its reflection admiringly in the water. And, its paws were brown and caked with sticky mud.
“I thought cats didn’t like water,” CeeCee stated at full volume.
She didn’t know if she was talking to the cat or to just to herself. She did, more often than not, say what she was thinking out loud. You can imagine her surprise when the cat responded to her declaration.
“I am not a cat!” said the creature.
Charlotte Cindy Blueberry thought it was unusual for a cat to talk. She shook her head and scratched at her newly grown hair before thinking aloud.
“I’ve never heard a cat speak before. But, then, perhaps no cats had ever wanted to make conversation with me before now. Or, maybe, someone’s voice from the next neighborhood, which is 45 miles away, got caught up in the wind and blew right into my ear. The voice did sound agitated and desperate. Stumbling about on the wind for 45 miles, rolling and tossing with no direction in mind would give any traveling voice a desperate edge to it. Wouldn’t you think! But, the voice did seem to have come from the cat,” she rambled.
“May I jump in on this little moment of self expression at any time? Or, maybe I should come back when you’ve thoroughly convinced yourself that you’re crazy,” the animal retorted.
Startled, CeeCee took a few moments before she answered the smallish beast.
“Are you talking to me?” CeeCee exclaimed. A very logical question, she thought, under the circumstances.
“No, I am talking to this rather intelligent looking bullfrog with the abnormal growth coming out of its face,” he added sarcastically.
He was looking disapprovingly at a rather disgusting, and deformed, bullfrog sitting close to him. The bullfrog seemed to have been mutated by some discarded chemicals left over from a science project went bad.
“It shouldn’t get me into any trouble to talk to a cat, right? Besides, it probably wasn’t the cat who was talking anyway.” She again exclaimed to no one in particular.
At this, the cat looked up at her. He now seemed extremely annoyed. It was only then that she regarded his beauty.
“My goodness, you are pretty.” She said surprised.
His brilliant orange fur wasn’t interrupted by white stripes like a tabby cat. Nor, was it spotted with bits of black and white like a calico. His luscious fur was all orange with bits of yellow tangled in it. Looking like some misbehaving child had taken a yellow highlighter and marked the cat’s fur with it while hiding in a dark closet.
The Cat didn’t talk for a minute. He seemed to be enjoying CeeCee admiring him. And, because of the momentary silence, she was almost certain that she was just imagining things. But, there was the Tom Cat standing on the other side of the pond. To make matters worse, he was looking directly at her with eyes that seemed to burn.
She didn’t know how she knew he was a he, but she knew. It must have been the deep voice that came from his feline throat. His fur was long, but not straight like other cats of longhair varieties. It was curly and unruly! Actually, the fur was so disorderly that it reminded CeeCee of her own unmanageable tresses. The cats mane looked a bit like something else CeeCee had seen before. Something that warmed her insides so completely she almost felt like curling down right there in the wild hay and taking a nap.
“FIRE!” she nearly yelled.
Her exclamation startled the poor cat so that its fur was now sticking straight into the sky. It had jumped nearly two feet in the ground before landing directly on his four paws. The fur quickly recoiled back to its original disarray as he gathered his composure.
“Will you stop this nonsense and just act like a calm, rational person? I need to tell you something. In addition I still need convincing myself that you aren’t crazy. You aren’t helping your case much with these outbursts!” he said with very apparent irritation.
“Okay, so we’ve established that you are talking to me then?” CeeCee said, still with a lingering question in her tone. Her eyes were wandering the scene were looking for someone hiding in the brush that might be playing a trick on her.
“Oh, you do catch on quickly don’t you,” he said while rolling his striking emerald eyes.
“You know, you aren’t a very polite cat.” CeeCee said a little offended.
“I am not a cat!” said the creature, raising his voice to a very alarming mini roar. “I am a Catopuma.”
“A cata whata,” replied a disbelieving CeeCee.
“C-A-T-O-P-U-M-A. Cato-puma, Catopuma. Cat – o – puma. . .”
“Fine, I get it!" CeeCee interupted him. "You can stop saying it. Catopuma.” She exaggerated the word so the creature would know that she was capable of intelligence.
“It still has the word cat in it, so I don’t see why you are so uptight about it.” Now CeeCee was the one rolling her eyes quite impressively.
The Catopuma let out an enormous sigh that still had a small roar behind it. He lifted his left front paw and licked it clean and then wiped behind his ears a few times. He looked at his murky reflection again to make sure he was still presentable.
“Charlotte Cindy Blueberry”, he addressed her with poise and self confidence. “I am here to deliver a message and an artifact to you. I have come over thousands of miles and hundreds of years to see that this message safely reaches your ears. I am quite tired and rather hungry so I suppose I am slightly discourteous at the moment. I do apologize. Now, if I may, I would like to have a word.”