Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Back To School I Go!

"Don't you love . . . the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."
photo taken from: www.flickr.com/photos/merelymel/2824506032/

This time of year is exciting to me. I really love all the back to school stuff in the stores and the fall weather turning the vegetation into colorful works of art. I feel like Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail. "Don't you love . . . the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." *(Of course, I would love to send anyone a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. If you want one, just put your name and address as a comment and I promise to send you a pencil bouquet. I will, I really will. To be honest, I will only send you a pencil bouquet if I know you well and I know that you would appreciate the gesture. The deciding of those who will be the most appreciative is up to my discretion:)* I do want to buy school supplies and I think a lovely pencil bouquet would look quite nice on my kitchen table. But, this year is a little different for me. I AM ACTUALLY GOING BACK TO SCHOOL MYSELF!

I got married to the best man in the world in August of 2005. Right before we met, I had decided that I needed a break from my academia, and I was faithfully preparing to serve a LDS mission. I filled out all the papers, got my necessary interviews, checked in with my dentist, and I was even getting up very early in the morning everyday to study the scriptures. (I am not a morning person at all!) Everything was in order and I was about to send that packet of papers into SLC and await my calling. THEN, I met a handsome, chiseled, funny, and just generally awesome man named Bryce Jolley. We dated from May through June, got engaged July 3rd, and married August 19, 2005.

Bryce was finishing up his undergraduate education when we were newlyweds. He was also preparing to enter medical school in the Fall of 2006. Needless to say, he was a busy character at the time. Between school work, taking entrance exams, flying to interviews, and working as an electrician for his father, he had little time for much else. I, on the other hand, should have taken that time to go back to school myself. However, even though I had initially taken a break from my academics for the purpose of serving a mission, I wasn't ready to go back quite yet. School has never been super easy for me. I love learning, but I am easily emotional and I get stressed quite readily. College classes and me didn't jive too well my first couple years of school. I needed some time to re-think what I wanted to do with my education. So, while Bryce was actively pursuing his academic aspirations, I went back into the workforce. I worked for Deseret Book for a time.

In July of 2006, we moved to Des Moines Iowa for Bryce to attend Des Moines University. The next three years, he worked his little hiney off to get through school and we are now into his 4th year of med school and looking forward to the next years of his residency. Throughout all of this, I have often felt like I needed to go back to school. I've never felt right about leaving my academic progress just hanging in the breeze. I felt like not finishing school was just one more thing that I had failed at. No one likes to feel like a failure, and I felt like one sometimes. These feelings came only from my silly emotional self.

No one in my life has ever made me feel like I was less of a person because I hadn't finished college. In fact, there were times when I felt like there really was no use in finishing because I had a husband who was going to finish enough school for the both of us. It was my job to just make sure he got through his schooling in one piece. We were going to start a family someday soon, and when that happened I was determined to be a stay at home mom. I wouldn't be using my degree anyway. Who needs a little slip of paper that says I have a degree in something or the other? No one give a degree in child-rearing and family studies. I mean, RIGHT? I thought these thoughts, but never really believed them. I wanted, and felt like I needed, a college degree. How could I teach my children the importance of a college education if I, myself, didn't finish college? What if something were to happen to my husband, what would I do for work. I know I have many talents, but the workforce nearly demands a college education. Most of all, I REALLY wanted to feel like I had finished something I started. I want to be able to frame my diploma on the wall and feel good about myself for the hard work I put in to get it.


So, after YEARS of going back and forth with myself. I decided that it was time. Time to go back to school and finish what I started in 2002 at the ripe old age of 18. Heavenly Father doesn't seem to think that it is time for us to have children exactly when we planned them. This made my decision even easier. If I am not to be a mother right now, then I should finish what I started while I have the time and attention to give schooling my 100%. It took MANY prayers and MANY tears to come to the place I am right now. But, as I type, I am again enrolled as a full-time student at BYU-Idaho. I start in exactly a week, and I am very excited. I am very scared. I am very anxious. I am very grateful. I am very blessed.

I don't know exactly how to proceed. I anticipate feeling a little awkward and out of place at first. But, I fully intend to do my very best. I fully intent to get the best grades of my life and make myself and my family proud. It may be a long next few years, but I will have the framed diploma hanging on my wall someday soon. This is my time to show that I can do it, and I don't intend to feel like a failure this time. In fact, I haven't felt so good about something since the day I knew that Bryce was to be my eternal companion.

To all the rest of you starting school this fall, GOOD LUCK! From Kindergarteners to Graduate Students, this is your year. Make it the best year ever!