I need advice. I need encouragement. I am asking for anyone who reads this blog to comment on this post and leave me advice. Labor and Delivery advice. Infant advice. Motherly advice. Anything that you can think of.BUT . . . There is a catch. Keep it positive. I get a little tired of hearing the same old terrible stories about 0 hrs of sleep, exhaustion, pain, sadness, etc. I want to hear the good stuff. Or, at least advice to get me through the yucky. Maybe I'll let you all spill the horror a little later, but for now let's hear the sunshine.
17 comments:
Natali, you don't need advice, this stuff is in your blood. You are one of the most naturally loving nurturing woman I know. I totally understand your worries, it seems different when it is going to be your own baby. At this moment I know you think you love this little baby growing, but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming feeling of love that grew once that baby was in my arms. I have never felt anything like it. It can make me cry on a dime even when I think about it. I know you don't want the bad things but I just want to say this, motherhood is wonderful and hard. Nothing has brought some of my highest highs in life, but also some of the lowest of lows. The great thing is that through all of this you are not alone, you have Bryce. And even though I am sure he is scared to death :) he will be great.
I thought labor was pretty easy but I went in thinking it was going to be horrible. So low expectations will lead to a happy experience for labor in my experience. I think the more you are prepared for the worse then it can only be better then you thought. And honestly, you will love it. Even if all the terrible stories did happen, you will love that little baby like crazy, and anytime that little boy coos or yawns, smiles or snoogles, you will instantly melt and any stress you had been feeling will instantly fade. Just always remember and try to remind yourself how lucky you are to have this little baby and how lucky he is to have you and that will help those early horomone lows. I don't know if you want nursing advice, but if your baby isn't one of the lucky babies who is born just learning how to nurse, don't despair it is common and just stick with it. Lansolin cream is a lifesaver and I would strongly encourage you to use it everytime after you nurse for the first 2-3 weeks especially.
You are going to make such a wonderful mom, I cannot wait to see the pictures of your cute little guy when he arrives!
Wow, I feel like I should be asking YOU for advice, since you were always able to calm Hunter as soon as you took him in your arms!
As far as labor and delivery goes, I would say one good thing is to make sure Bryce has some ice chips in a cup right there for you. I tell you, those ice chips saved me! Haha, it sounds silly but it might really help you during the pushing part. And after the baby's born, as soon as you can, get up and try to move around a little, because when I had Hunter I didn't move out of my bed for at least a day and it made it much harder to recover. No one ever told me to get up and walk around, so I didn't know that it would help me! So, if you're feeling up to it, take a little walk around the halls. Also, you may want to take a robe with you to the hospital so you don't feel exposed all the time!
Oh, and another tip that really helped me when the baby is still small but too big for the baby tub. When you bathe him in the bathtub, put a big towel on the bottom of the tub (with the water and all). Then lay the baby on top of the towel, and you can wrap it up on his legs or stomach, and they'll feel warmer and not so slippery and scared. I thought it really helped Hunter until he got bigger and used to the bathtub.
Whew, I feel like there's so much more I could say, but I'm afraid you've already heard all of this. I'm sure you're very prepared so don't worry, you will be fine! But maybe I will write a blog post about what tips and tricks I've learned.
And finally, enjoy the moment! Don't worry about getting stuff cleaned or organized, don't worry about the dishes in the sink or whatever. Just enjoy the little baby because they grow so fast. You will love being a mother, and Bryce will love it too (especially when he can play with him and make him laugh).
One of the things that helped me the most was something you've probably already thought of. But get a priesthood blessing for sure. It kept me much calmer.
I agree with everything everyone has already said. And truly you are going to be great. You have had more experience than most with little ones. For me I wish I would have been more patient waiting to go into labor and also during the labor. I was one of those classic first time moms...went past my due date and labor took a long time. Nothing bad happened it just took a long time and I don't know that I had prepared myself for that. I read books in the beginning but in the end I had to just take what worked and throw out what didn't. Don't feel pressured to have a baby that sleeps through the night right away, even though everyone will ask you. I finally realized that I had a wonderful baby and instead of trying to create the picture perfect situation I just needed to enjoy the moments. Enjoy the cuddle time! I was and still am a huge fan of always having a stain remover stick close by. It saved a lot of clothes!
Natali, I feel like there are a million different things to tell you! I think the most important is that you need to do what works best for you.
Talk with the nurses and doctor, tell them how you are feeling and any questions you have, they have done this a million times and have loads of experience that they can share with you.
In my experience an epidural was amazing. It made the birthing process very relaxed and I was able to be rested and ready to push, as well as relaxed and ready to hold and love my baby. I was also induced with both Megan and Addison. It was really cool to know what day the baby would be here and helped calm my anxiety of "when will the baby come???"
Nursing hurts like H*** the first week or two, and it can be very frustrating. I think the best advice I can give for that is just don't give up.....it gets mush better with time, it is of course much cheaper (as in free) than formula and a lot less hassle than having to clean bottles all the time. having a nice nursing cover, the kind that has wiring on top so you can see the baby, makes it a lot easier too.
OK that's just the top of the iceburg :) come on over and we can talk birth stories all day :)
Keeping it short and simple: take lots and lots of pictures (like very day) because these bundles of joy change by the day, literally.
oh, bless your sweet heart. i felt exactly the same way, i was terrified of the labor and delivery. BUT (now i may sound crazy) it actually turned out to be my FAVORITE part. i'm with rachel, i really enjoyed my epidural. i was relaxed and could enjoy it all. with jack, i was terrified of the getting the epidural, but let me tell you, it is nothing. no biggie. I LOVED being in the hospital. milk that for all it's worth. ask as many questions as you can think of and your nurses will help you so much. use the lactation specialist, and don't freak out about that. yes, it can be stressful, but please don't be the NAZI mom who WILL NOT consider ANYTHING but nursing. yes, it is the best option, IF IT WORKS FOR YOU. if it is so stressful that you can't see straight and it is depressing you, your baby will do just fine with a bottle. trust me. nat, it is amazing. it really was my favorite part of it all. you will be just fine. and you have a strong man that will be right beside you. i love you.
You know what to do. It will all come to you naturally. And, if you ever have a question, you can call me, because I know everything. Trust yourself, and your husband.
Thanks for posting this one because even though I have Kate, it will be 3 years since I've had a baby and I think I've forgotten a lot and I'm getting a little nervous too. With Kate my labor & delivery was not enjoyable and neither was nursing. So I'm really hoping this time around I'll get the experience that everyone else seems to have. As for advice for raising a baby / toddler I have to say... put in place a schedule within the first month. I can testify that babies, as much as mothers, function best on schedules. I'm sure you've read books on all that stuff but I promise you that even though it can be difficult at times sticking to a schedule will make your life and baby jolley's lives much happier.
I can't believe we're in the last inning - Spencer said to me, wow this pregnancy has flown bye. It has but I'm really starting to feel it now and with each passing week I think this is taking forever. I'm sure you're busy but call me sometime so we can chat. Love and Miss Ya!!!
Natalie I completely agree with Becca - you are one of the most natural mothers I've ever met and this little guy is going to be so lucky to have you and Bryce in his life and as parents.
I was scared of labor and delivery too. The thought of pushing a human out of me, or even worse getting cut out of me via c-section made me feel nauseous. I had Logan give me a blessing when I was around 36 weeks (good thing since my water broke the morning I turned 37 weeks) That blessing brought me more comfort than anything else. I was so glad I already had our bags packed so early.
Also, Labor & Delivery was the easiest part for me, it was long at 18.5 hours, and at times it hurt, but compared to the recovery and breastfeeding, it was my favorite part - especially after I got the epidural. There were so many things I didn't know though: like for instance your mucus plug isn't green, but bloody. So when I saw blood I thought Gavin was in trouble - and really it was just my water breaking/mucus plus. Who knew that was normal?? I sure didn't. I always heard blood while pregnant means bad bad things.
I also didn't have this immediate instanteous connection with Gavin right when he was born - I loved him SO much but I didn't KNOW him or his personality - and that made all the difference. Each day I just wanted to be closer and closer to him physically and emotionally and those moments are so sweet and special as you really MEET each other.
Get as much rest as you can and just enjoy the hospital experience with everyone pampering you and your little guy. And try not to compare him or your experience to anyone elses. Breastfeeding ended up being my hardest thing - and even though it didn't work out for me the traditional way (I pumped the 1st 3 months) I wouldn't change a thing about my little man.
I'm so excited for you! It will be fantastic - better than you imagined. I can't wait to hear how things go and see pictures.
Natalie I agree with the other post about motherhood being in your blood. It is so true. I have told my sister and another close friend that and to their surprise it was. You will be a wonderful mother! No worries. I cant wait until the baby is here! Oh, something else to look forward to is when they are alittle older and they laugh that is the best sound in the world. I love now that we have 2 and they laugh together. Its the best. You'll see. Good Luck!
Natali,
You are one of the most nurturing person I know. You will do great. I was terrified. I was scared of everything about labor, delivery and recovery. It really turned out to be something that I wish I would have sat back and enjoyed alittle bit more instead of stressing. The nurses at the hospital really help out and make you comfortable. I loved my epidural and wouldn't have done it anyother way. It made me much more rested and prepared for everything else to come. My biggest advice to give you is to listen to your own instincts. Everyone was telling me why this and why that. But it seemed like most of the time they were wrong and I could sense what was needed to be done. You'll do amazing. Have your bags packed nice and early so when it's time to go, you aren't running everywhere to pack your bag. Good luck! You'll be amazing!
LOVE EVERY SECOND OF EVERYTHING. YOUR BODY WILL GET THE BABY OUT, AND YOU MOM INSTINCTS WILL HELP YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN HE IS HOME WITH YOU OR AT LEAST IT WILL KEEP YOU FROM LOSING IT :)
I didn't read all the other comments, so sorry if someone has already told you this, but one of the best pieces of advice I received right before Isaac was born was to let the hospital nursery take him at night. That way, I was able to sleep and not worry about him and they brought him to me whenever he needed to eat. I felt confident that the nurses knew how to take care of him a lot better than I did at that point! You will be a great mother, I am so excited for you and your growing family! It is worth every bit of sacrifice! Take it from me, I wouldn't be having 3 kids in 3 years (on purpose!) if it weren't!
ps--thanks for the cloth diaper info!
You will be great:) We are excited for you guys.
Natali, your blog is so amazing. Your way of writing is so uplifting and humorous and so discriptive. I love to read about your life and trials. You and Bryce are going to be such wonderful parents. You are going to have so many wonderful happenings soon and I hope that you will find the time to write them down. You have to find the time! Chubby little hands, fat little thighs, first smile, soft babies butt, their baby smell, little head cuddled in your neck, spit-up down your front(had to throw that one in), sleeping with him beside you, baby breath, watching daddy hold him, zipping up your favorite jeans again for the first time in a long time!!! These are just a few wonderful things of motherhood. I wish you lots of joy. You have God on your side and that is a blessing. You are going to be ok.
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